Pretentious

People pretend all the time I guess. I'm sure i had done it, and i had people doing it to me. Btw, by "pretend" here i mean behaving in a certain manner that doesn't actually reflect one's true feelings (or mood). Understandably, they do it for many reasons. Perhaps to spare someone's feelings, or simply by means of cold-hard deceits.

However, even though it's a common practice, I particularly hated it when a friend of mine (or anyone i deemed close) is doing it to me (being pretentious, that is). Well, don't we all? Who wouldn't hate it when someone they trust turns out to be ''lying" (well, sort of, since they're pretending to be something when it's actually something else).

There's something rather paradoxical here though. I wouldn't want my friend to lie - to pretend - but I wouldn't want my feelings to be hurt as well. So, I want to know the truth, but in the same time I want them to be pretentious so they can cover the brutality from me. I guess it becomes sort of a dilemma (?) where you will have to choose: hear the truth, or let it be covered with sugary lies? The latter choice is less painful (much much less painful in some severe cases). Would you rather know your boyfriend is cheating, or would you rather go on with your everyday life believing that he is faithful? What you don't know won't hurt you right? If you know nothing, you won't think about it. There's no heavy-heart feelings, no worrying whether he's with that b*** somewhere cozy, simply no mental burden whatsoever.You get to keep your peace of mind. But even though you seemed unhurt at the surface, beneath all that your boyfriend is secretly inflicting stinging aching pus-leaking sores and wounds.

Doh. I've been blabbering. Well, my point is really which one will you choose, to know the hurtful truth, or to keep your peace of mind blissfully unaware of the threats occurring to you? My experience today led me to choose having my pretentious friend to be honest with me. I want my friends to show their true feelings, and not hide it. Smiles may cover things up for some period of time, but if you spend too much time together you'll eventually know which ones are honest smiles and which are the pretentious ones. If by being honest they hurt me, and then I hate them morbidly and wouldn't want to see their face ever again, then maybe we can't be friends. Since, what kind of friends can't understand each other? Luckily I am a good friend; very understandable, gives good advices, and I am forgiving. Not being narcissistic here, just being me. Hehe. So just be honest with me. I hate your pretentious smile (there, i was being honest with you). Be yourself. Just be nicer when you guys decide to show me how brutal you actually are (you see, beside being a good friend, I am also a sensitive person so be gentle with me. hehe). By time I'll be able to get used to how you really are (your very very true self), and hopefully we'll still be friends without you having to be pretentious.

Now wouldn't that be nice? I'd definitely want that.

Comments

[LawreN]

Tra, panjang amat blog lu.. Pretentious = ?? New vocab nih.. Mayan buat nambah2.. Well, I am not being pretentious since you are a great friend.. Cheers..

[Tracy]

eh ren! tumben ber-friendster2! hehehee

[Budiaman]

Pretentious people are being themselves when they are being pretentious. Why? Because they are pretentious! LoL! Hahahaha!

[Tracy]

.... twisted logic.....